Technically

I have started to hear the 'will you be rehosting' question a lot lately.

We have hosted "K" three times while we have waited for her adoption status to clear. We are obviously not going to travel to get her before Christmas (we presume), so it technically would be possible to rehost her this winter and then travel for our adoption in late winter.

Technically.

However, we are throwing all of our heart and soul into fundraising for this adoption. The adoption itself will end up being between $20,000-$26,000. We have spent $7,500 on the previous hosting trips. We cannot see using money that we need RIGHT NOW (for her adoption) to rehost.

I have struggled with this. A lot. I have tried to decide if it's lack of faith, or simply using our limited (and usually donated) resources wisely. What is best for her? What will it do to her spirit to not be rehosted?

Here is what I know:

When we were told in the spring that our adoption was being ground to a halt, we KNEW we were rehosting her. With the same KNOWING that we had in April, we are at peace with not rehosting this winter. Do we like it? Nope. But that is the way it is.

Her best friend, "M", is being adopted along with M's 4 younger siblings and they will be living about an hour away from us. (Take a moment....let that sink in. A family is adopting 5 children, ranging in ages from 15 to 4. No one does that. Sibling groups that large are seldom adopted, especially when there is a teen involved. The faith that it takes to do that blows. my. mind. And they will be close! Not just in the south, or the same state, but DRIVING distance. I believe that this is yet another gift to our "K"....that the friend she has lived with {since she was five} will be close. I get teary thinking about it.)

But back to my point...."M" will not be rehosted for Christmas either, because of the same reasons we cannot host "K". Obviously, I wish both girls would be home with their forever families. But I am grateful they will be together, and one will not be dealing with the loss of the other, plus missing Christmas with their new families.

I did email "K"s social worker (who is a dear lady and angel) explaining our situation. I asked her to please explain to "K" what was going on so she will not feel left or forgotten.

Please pray that "K" will understand, and that we will all be patient  while we wait. I cannot imagine being in her shoes and waiting.

And waiting.

Because waiting pretty much sucks stinks. A lot.