What is a Home Study and why do People who are having one Seemed Stressed? (And other answers)

 I thought I'd take a second to explain what a 'home study' actually is and why it takes so long. I really had no idea how involved it would be, myself. It's WAY more than just meeting with a person from the adoption agency and them saying you are nice people and not child abusers and to go ahead.

There is paper work. Tons. The kind you read and initial, the kind you sign, the kind that are easy questions with short answers and the kind of questions that may take a whole page to answer. I had to write a mini-autobiography using the questions they provided. It took almost seven (typed) pages.

There are also things you 'do'. Get your septic tank checked. Get 2 sets of fingerprints. Take a 10 hour online class. Get your kids caught up on vaccines. Get your pets shot...against rabies. Make copies of birth certificates, marriage certificates and divorce decrees. Make copies of health insurance and auto insurance cards. Oh, and driver's licences. Copies of your latest water bill, tax return and pay stub. Everyone gets a check up!

Then! Your social worker will come to your house. (This always makes me clean for days and days. It doesn't matter that they have never actually LOOKED inside the kids bath to check for mold; I will obsess over it!) It's a casual walk thru. They check for fire extinguishers and smoke alarms. No one is sleeping in cages. It's not a house from an episode of Hoarders with piles of trash everywhere. They don't look through your closets or underwear drawers.

Our New Case Worker (who was super fab, BTW) opened her lap top and asked us questions. Lots. We told her about our marriage, what we like to do, where we grew up, where we met, why we left our last agency, etc. Next meeting I think she said she would ask us about our kids and their personalities. I did not feel interrogated; I felt like it was a very important semi-casual conversation. I didn't mind it (once I calmed down from the initial nerves).

So you can see it's a lot. I range from panic about how in the world can I do this without messing it up to oh, this is not a problem and it's sure easier than pregnancy.

And this ^^^ is why the next time a friend says 'we are starting our home study' you should say "Here, let me bring you some ice cream/chocolate/Starbucks coffee/printer ink/brand new pens/bottle of wine."

Solid Steps Forward :)

It's been way too long since I posted here. There has been more waiting and waiting, then our adoption agency (who we were already not happy with), totally, ROYALLY screwed us over. This is forcing us to start over with a new agency.

The new agency is doing our home study. But they do not have an accredited adoption program in the country we're adopting from. They are trying to get one up and running, and there's a good chance by the time we are ready, they will be ready too.

However, because we are adopting from a Hague country, we have to have the adoption agency IN PLACE before we start the home study. Translation: If we say Lifeline is doing our adoption & our home study, they HAVE to do both. If we get ready to file our papers and they aren't ready in county with a program up and running, there will be more waiting.

So Lifeline will be doing our home study, and another agency will be doing our adoption. I had a GREAT talk with the adoption agency yesterday. Got our selves a game plan. She understands our situation, and is willing to go as fast as we can go. Our plan is to complete our dossier (even though we will still be waiting on immigration approval) while working on our home study. I am slightly overwhelmed by the thought of all that paper work and paper chasing. But, it's only paper, right? Can't really hurt me, right? If pregnancy hormones threaten to undo me, I can walk away. (See the pep talk I am giving myself???)

The 'draw back' to doing all this simultaneously? Once our home study is complete, we can apply for grants. (Another full time job, I hear.) But then there's waiting. Which is great if you are not in the big, fat hurry we are in. And? To complete our adoption application and dossier fees will be approx $6,000. (We are cool on the funds for our home study, itself. Praise the Lord)

So we can only go as fast as we have cash. Once we get over the $6000 hurdle, we can wait on grants, I think, and hopefully be okay? I can't worry about the second part now....the first numbers and making me woozy.

What can you do?
>Pray. Pray. And Pray.
>Donate items to our yard sale this weekend. Let me know if you can help, and I can come pick it up.
>Donate directly to our adoption agency.
>Use THIS LINK to donate to our Adopt Together account.