What is a Home Study and why do People who are having one Seemed Stressed? (And other answers)

 I thought I'd take a second to explain what a 'home study' actually is and why it takes so long. I really had no idea how involved it would be, myself. It's WAY more than just meeting with a person from the adoption agency and them saying you are nice people and not child abusers and to go ahead.

There is paper work. Tons. The kind you read and initial, the kind you sign, the kind that are easy questions with short answers and the kind of questions that may take a whole page to answer. I had to write a mini-autobiography using the questions they provided. It took almost seven (typed) pages.

There are also things you 'do'. Get your septic tank checked. Get 2 sets of fingerprints. Take a 10 hour online class. Get your kids caught up on vaccines. Get your pets shot...against rabies. Make copies of birth certificates, marriage certificates and divorce decrees. Make copies of health insurance and auto insurance cards. Oh, and driver's licences. Copies of your latest water bill, tax return and pay stub. Everyone gets a check up!

Then! Your social worker will come to your house. (This always makes me clean for days and days. It doesn't matter that they have never actually LOOKED inside the kids bath to check for mold; I will obsess over it!) It's a casual walk thru. They check for fire extinguishers and smoke alarms. No one is sleeping in cages. It's not a house from an episode of Hoarders with piles of trash everywhere. They don't look through your closets or underwear drawers.

Our New Case Worker (who was super fab, BTW) opened her lap top and asked us questions. Lots. We told her about our marriage, what we like to do, where we grew up, where we met, why we left our last agency, etc. Next meeting I think she said she would ask us about our kids and their personalities. I did not feel interrogated; I felt like it was a very important semi-casual conversation. I didn't mind it (once I calmed down from the initial nerves).

So you can see it's a lot. I range from panic about how in the world can I do this without messing it up to oh, this is not a problem and it's sure easier than pregnancy.

And this ^^^ is why the next time a friend says 'we are starting our home study' you should say "Here, let me bring you some ice cream/chocolate/Starbucks coffee/printer ink/brand new pens/bottle of wine."