Oh Me of Little Faith....

Hosting has come to an end. We took K to the airport at 4:30 a.m. Sunday. We returned to a house that seemed not exactly right without her in it. Almost every night since she left, I go into the room she shares with my 6 year old and look at her bunk expecting her to be there. A few times, I have tried to make her a dinner plate.

She did email us that she was home, cold and very tired. Her school doesn't start for about 2 more weeks.

Then, this morning, I got a surprising email from a social worker associated with her orphanage.

Today, her father's parental rights were officially terminated. 

If you are friends with us, or have followed our story, you know that we thought this had already been done. Our initial information was that this had happened last fall, with some sort of waiting period that was up this past April. We thought she was free and clear for us to adopt, which is why we were completing our home study. Then of course, our adoption agency 'froze' our study for 3 mos forcing us to re host.

Am I still upset at our agency? Yes. Do I believe they are wrong? Yes.

However.....

If they hadn't frozen our home study, we would not have found out about the incorrect termination dates in time to re host. She would have been 'stuck' there all summer. By the time we knew what was going on, hosting deadlines would have been long gone. Because they 'screwed us over', we were able to spend 4 weeks with our girl, and that wouldn't have happened otherwise. 

Most of the time, when things like this happen, we never see the 'why'. We have wondered 'why' all summer. I have struggled with being angry at our agency, and even God, for the last 4 mos.

With today's email, I wanted to fall on my face. I am grateful He used all this to get her here this summer, and grateful that we saw the answer to why.

It is another chapter in the book of K's life and how God is at work on her behalf. I am constantly astounded  at how much He moves and does for her. Obviously, He has huge plans for her. Why I have so little faith is astounding....and not in the good sense of the word.

Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

H